When is a writer not a writer? Most of my stuff was written during the 'emo shit' phase of teen years. Looking back, I realize that they fill a good lot - an awful lot - of my attempts to build a working portfolio. Now that realization's not a bad thing; it leaves me with new space to re-create and re-build.

The only problem now is the conscious decision to burn those bridges, or leave them alone as a reminder of the past years. I've been thinking of killing some of my old works (the more obvious, trashy ones), and moving to a new account / webpage / wherever I decide to go next.

Perhaps the 'writer' is the best and worst critic. After a mental overhaul, I can say the stuff I like the most (that I've ever produced) are the poems "Picture" (dreadfully reminiscent to the song "COLORS" by Utada Hikaru, but I swear I wrote it first!), and "Love Is Wherever You Find It". In between, there's a large gap, filled mainly by nonsensical unmemorable drivel.

So where does that leave me? Several years of writing as therapy, writing as keeping in touch with my inner feelings... well, writing is still all that, but I have this odd urge to up the ante or I feel I'll fall by the wayside.

And there's not only the question of quantity, but quality. When, again, is a writer not a writer? Or specifically when is a poet not a poet? I wrote what I thought was poetry; blame it on my insular universe, my unconscious unwillingness to explore scary technical terms like 'meter', 'rhyme', 'iambic pentameter'. "I have no professional training" is a horrible confession, even when said in jest.

Come to think of it, if I ever get a chance to go to University, I'm going to take up a creative writing course and explore my full capacity to inflict terror on the world. *wry smile*

So here I am, listening to more Utada Hikaru (she's my muse), and thinking about life.

"Chinese Moon" should be out in a week.